The Big C
A friend of mine has been laid up, and he can now take visitors.
I decided it was more important than other obligations.
He’s near the old neighborhood, he moved there not too long before he got sick. It’s nice there but as I leave the train, I always get the fear of bumping into people I just don’t want to.
Luckily I make it to his building without detection. I go up the stairs and walk in. It’s dark in there but the Big C doesn’t need much light now.
For the time being anyway. Hopefully.
He has an eye infection, the Drs are saying toxioplasmosis. In the dying light of the apartment I can see the infection, cloudy puffy eyes, near blind, his eyes searching darkened walls.
He has a TV on, it’s down low. He can’t see it too well so he has to have it on for the sound. We catch up, life seems like it’s moving fast for me. Mis-adventures on the weekends, screaming matches at work, new people, apartment, an adventure to plan.
My friend hasn’t budged from his place since he moved here, not too long after me. That’s when the infection kicked in.
“No TV, no video games, no movies” He says
“No reading either.” I say
He points his head towards where my voice came from and frowned. “It looks like I’m in a fucking blizzard. These flurries-”
He reaches his hand out to try and find a lighter on his coffee table.
“It’s like I’m in a snow globe dude.”
The flurries, although I’m no doc, I know a bit on the human eye due to my photography experience. What he’s seeing is the infection itself refracted through the retina, it’s like dust in a lens. “When I shake my head it stirs it all up.” He lights up his cigarette.
He’s getting better, it’s a good thing. Still scary. Ever since I heard I wondered what would I miss the most? Autumn in the poconos? The curl of a wave right before I catch it? Watching the rain fall from a eve? Miss Brit’s blue eyes? Lightening? A fat covenant head in my sights? Porn?
I decide I would much rather lose a leg. Only one though. I knew a guy who lost one, and he was able to play tennis and swim and and lead a very active life.
“Didn’t anyone else want to come?”
“Oh you know the office, all busy with stuff.” In reality, they made me sick with half excuses. “You have been getting visitors though right?” The office never wants to leave the village, maybe they’ll go to williamsburg but only on extreme duress. Then it’s always barcade and union pool. God forbid they actually visit a friend in need.
“Yeah, family.”
“Good.”
It begins to rain out, the big C doesn’t bother to look out the window. “Sure you had nothing else to do?”
“Nah.” I say. “I’d rather be here.”
