Right of Return
I always thought that if israel could exist because they happened to be there over a thousand years ago, I should be able to claim my old house, and apartment back.
It’s only fair.
But that’s besides the point, the point is I went looking again today and this time I found a house for rent, in williamsburg. But it was such a depressing house and the ceilings weren’t high enough to hang myself, so I decided that it wasn’t worth it.
The other days when I call up Realtors, the conversations come off like the directors cut of Falling down.
“I-want-to-go-home-fucker!” (In a slow barely controlled voice)
“Oh hi Peter, nope nothing yet. Try next week.” (Still incredibly cheery and smug [fuck-hole])
It’s become a joke in my office, the new kid pushed it the wrong way so I dangled a suitcase in his face and dared him to take it. He made a grab so I cracked him in the jaw with a sawed down baseball bat.
As a result my boss made sure I had a week with no dessert (and it was brownies!), put me in the corner, and makes me stay after work copying the dictionary on the whiteboards.
I don’t care if I’m double his size, and he wears glasses! I want some brownies!
So yeah, house. The Realtor had another place I wanted a few days before but the landlord was sick of applications before I had a chance to put in one. Oh it was perfect, the right amount of space, hardwood floors, right location and everything. So as I said, I’m gonna break! But something dawned on me, this is a new ball game. I’m the ‘86 mets, yeah there were some losses, but at the end they won.
I put down the baseball bat and the briefcase, I looked at the Realtor, and I told her that I’ll double the deposit they’re asking. I’m MS now, no longer sweet little mylo at a start up, hoping to catch a break, but now I’m a tiny little cog in a huge mega corp that can buy brooklyn and bulldoze the whole thing.
Jesus that’s scary.
I realized I have some real capital here, that normally I don’t have and if I am now a member of the upper-middle-class instead of the working poor that I have been a member of since my early twenties, it’s about time to start flexing some muscle instead of playing the nice self defeatist guy.
She looks at me “You’re serious?”
“Deadly.”
