For all those
It was a tough long hard slog. It brought to mind the speech that was in Henry V by Shakespeare. Yes I know I hate Shakespeare but this really fit the mood
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered-
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition;
And gentlemen in England now-a-bed
Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin’s day.
This is it, this is how I feel. I survived. I made it through some of the most toughest, and worst trials of my life thus far.
I survived.
Today this afternoon I was offered a position testing video games. I accepted, and well we all know the rest. I work, I go to school, and I go home to Brooklyn. I find someone, I live, I die.
I used to say that your company is a third parent to you. It feeds you, it clothes you, it gives you shelter. It doesn’t matter what company you’re in. It could be Toys ‘r’ Us, it could be Microsoft, but the concept it the same. This one provides me with free caffienated products, fresh veggies to snack on, and all the NPCs I can fucking torture.
What I really wanted to talk about was my own version of this speech, it was a few years ago. During the dark days previous to Sept 11, this one was in C3i. All of us were broke, we couldn’t afford cigarettes, much less a can of coke. I was living off of $1 burgers from the Macdonalds across the street. The dot coms were crashing around us, and in that office it seemed like the world was going to fall apart for very different reasons.
It was after we were trading cigarettes for money, or favors that I realized we hit rock bottom. Maybe it was just me and I was projecting it to everyone else. I looked at them, and to paraphrase I said I think the most eloquent thing I have ever spoke outloud.
“Where are we, are we in jail? This is isn’t right. We work, and we are trading cigarettes for goods and services. I say there is a better place, a wonderful place. It’s a dot com in the sky, where the foosball tables are plentiful, and working. Where free cappuchinos are only a short walk away, where the job is fun, meaningful, and makes a difference. Where we can play video games so we don’t get burned out, were the hallways echo from IMs from loved ones. This place exists, I swear. We will find it, and if I do find it first, I’ll bring you with me.”
I think I was ignored mostly, or told to shut up. I don’t remember but there are witnesses, me and Horhey aka chicagoperv still talk about it. But it’s been found, hallelujah, it’s been found, hallelujah!!!!!
So I can turn off the resume, the monster search engines, the defeated outlook on life, the shame, the anger, the hate, the looking at things and saying only if. I can afford school books again, I can say with pride what I do, and I can be envied if only by fellow geeks.
So, good night job hunt 2004 (and 05), I hope we don’t meet for a VERY long time.
