Another typical Saturday Night
Being a grinch…
Me : Yeah it’s beautiful, but it’s a fading beauty. Not unlike a woman in her first stages of cancer. It’s been here and it seen people come and go. This tree was here for centuries, and it would have been here for centuries more.
SiHeadCase : Oh can’t you enjoy it.
Me : You look at this tree and see hope, a better future, and the good spirit of man kind. This tree knows the true spirit of man, we need to kill something so we can celebrate. Each pine needle that turns brown and falls off will be blown away and forgotten, like tears in the ocean. When the holidays are finally over we are going to send it to the wood chipper, it would have died so tourists can ooh and ah over. You aren’t looking at something beautiful you are looking at a public execution.
SiHeadCase : You know Milo for once, JUST FOR ONCE I would like you to look at something at it’s face value. I would like you not to be morbid, not to look in the evil in men’s hearts, not to ruin the one season that people are actually nice to each other.
Tourist : HEY MOVE YOUR FAT HEAD MY KID WANTS A PICTURE OF THE TREE!!!
SiHeadCase : GO TO HELL! (Turns to me) Shut up Milo. But you know, I know it’s always a depressing time of year for you. Especially now being single, not having a job, and living in a rat infested basement apartment. But seriously if you open your heart to what Christmas means to people maybe you can find some satisfaction in it. But look at this tree and think of when you were a kid, and praying that you fooled Santa that you were good. Tell me if that doesn’t warm your heart a little.
Me : Dad told me he shot Santa down in ‘nam, he was pissed about the Buck Rodgers gun that the fatman screwed him out of.
SiHeadCase : Oh… You’re kidding right?
Johnny D : No he’s not.
Me : That year we had venison for christmas dinner.
