There is no ez bake in halo honey
I’m no gaming god, I’ll admit. Typically I’m not a sexist either, well only enough to piss off fem-nazis and SI headcase.
But there is a new thing with grrl gamers lately. Like this gaming group from Switzerland, I’ve also been reading about the frag dolls as well.
I’m so confused because part of me wants to yell out something like “Get your hands off the xbox, and go make me some brownies bitch!!!” but the other part the non sexist and inheiritly gamer is incredibly turned on.
Oh come on guys you know there is nothing sexier than a lady with a gun. Don’t believe me you fucking geeks? Think of Skully and Lara Croft (angelina jolie) making out in a forbidden temple. Their tongues caressing each other’s full lips. Their hands growing more curious and hungr…… Oh sorry, but anyway they have guns and you know how they handled them they were good with other pieces of equipment.
I do know why my inner ego is acting up in defense. Video games were the last bastion of safety men had. It was our santuary where no women were allowed, like the tree house we all wanted (and still would move into if we can just find one). For example, we had playboy they decided to be bi. We had hardcore porn, they watch with us to bond. We had sports, they began memorizing stats.
Then there were video games, for the better part of 15 years we were safe with our nintendos and playstations. I mean yeah they had a barbie game here and there, but how many of those they sold 2, 3? Even now if I want to get rid of a girl, I turn on Vice city. If I don’t have a system around I talk about Halo 2 like a highschool crush and that works. But lets say they are more understanding of that (they do have sex and the city) I begin talking about how a game got in my head (which is more true than not) and how I’ve been tempted to steal cars or I see nazi snipers on roofs. That works every fucking time.
Well almost, I got my ps2 confiscated for that one.
So what do we do about this men? I refuse to go full geek and start dressing up like a storm trooper. I’m sure you guys do too, so what are we left with? I’ll tell you, bounties. Lets put a bounty on their head, no not for real on xbox live or something. It’s not because I’m threatened with being beaten by a girl. It’s because I don’t want to hear them ask which colors go with the sniper rifle they just grabbed.
I want my shelter dammit.
